Pencil & Card

There are only two types of players … those who keep their nerves under control & win championships, and those who do not

-Harry Vardon

I stood on 18 tee & took a deep breath. Looked at my caddie, Connor, and told him lets go birdie the last hole. I took a practice swing, setup, and hit the ball right down middle of the 520 yard par 5. This hole is a sharp dogleg right that plays severely uphill. I had 250 to the green & I hit a 4 iron short of the green. I then pitch on and two putted for my par. One short of what I wanted but still happy how I played the hole. I shook hands with my playing partners and headed to scoring.

That day I signed for 102.

My highest score in a while. I honestly haven’t shot in the hundreds since I was 16 years old (almost 11 years ago).

How did I get to that point?

Golf is an interesting sport. Some will play the game and never compete; not even a friendly match for $1 a side. Some will only play rounds of golf for money and the money they play for is fairly equal to my weekly income. Golf has this parallel with many action sports; for example Skateboarding. Some of the best Skateboarders in the world don’t compete in the biggest competitions. Instead they just ride their board and create art through videos and photos … there are probably some that don’t even do that, an unknown person who just loves to ride.

I started that day waking up in my car, since I slept in the parking lot of the country club the qualifier was being held at. The day before I played a practice round and didn’t really hit it great until the last 6 holes, but my last 5 rounds were no higher than 74 and I was swinging the golf club better than I ever had. I went for breakfast and came back to warm up for the day. I got to the first tee and hit my opening tee shot a tad to the right and put myself on a sidehill in the rough, right behind a tree. From there, I hit a shot that if you ask me to hit 3 years ago, it wouldn’t have happened. I hit about a 35 yard low draw around the tree to 20 feet. I then 4 putted for double, went to the next hole, and absolutely crushed a tee shot right down the middle. Hit a 3/4 Sand Wedge on the green to 30 feet (very below average), then proceeded to leave the putt right on the edge and making par.

Imperfection, to perfection, back to imperfection, and back to perfection.

Tournament Golf at its highest form is 156 players playing 4 rounds of 18 holes. There is typically a cut after 36 holes to 60 to 80 players and the total distance of the course is normally around 7200 yards for men and 6600 yards for women. The lowest form of competition in the professional game are Monday Qualifiers, State Open Qualifiers, and One day mini tour events. They’re 18 holes and normally played on smaller golf course. At the top of professional golf its about building a round and not letting big number ruin momentum … an 8 on a par 4 on the 3rd hole of a Thursday can be erased by birding 4 of the 8 par 5s remaining in the first two rounds and you might find yourself on the right side of the cut line. Average Birdie percentage on par 5s on tour is 43% and every Tour pro averages under par on Par 5s. Though in a one day event a big score can often derail a player because there isn’t that extra 18 holes to make up for any lost ground. You could play the next set of holes better than your average, though for most players they need a near ‘perfect’ round to get through a qualifier. 4 birdies, 4 bogeys, and 10 pars is normally what gets it done.

The reason for near perfection is simply that many of the players playing are not good enough on their average day. This exists in all forms of competitive golf. To combat this, the USGA will send letters to any amateur or pro who shoots 12 shots above the course rating in a National qualifier. These letters state that you must show results of previous success in tournaments or be banned for 3 years in USGA events. I will be honest and say thoughts of receiving a letter did cross my mind when playing the back nine that day. I never did receive one, but if I did, I honestly don’t how I would have reacted.

I have never got along with tournament golf. I have yet to have a Happy Gilmore moment … Happy, there is just one problem, your just no good. But the thought has crossed my mind that I will never figure out how to shoot under par routinely in competition. I have shot under par in a competitive environment. Twice during 2021, I shot 70 with the members during a Skins Game. Both times I missed a putt from inside 3 feet for birdie (same hole location) to shoot 69. There was pressure there and I was playing very focused during these rounds. I can remember stalking a few putts from a couple different angles to get the read just right to make the putt. Going through my PLAN on every shot. Yet this was a course, I knew very well; I worked there and played with members regularly. Plus the course is only about 5600 yards, though it is tight and many holes you’re hitting long to mid irons into greens. The qualifier I was playing was roughly 1000 yards longer and up until about a month before the event, I didn’t even know of its existence.

After missing some easy mid range putts for par and not making a birdie on the front nine, I turned in 42 to the back nine. Even with that score, I was striking the golf ball solid, just need to make a few putts on the back nine and I would have a chance to qualify. Once my round was over, Connor (my caddie) said he was very confident when we were walking to the back nine that I would shoot under par; I was too. Connor had seen me rally rounds back after bad starts a few times when we had played. He knew I had been working on my mental game and had been figuring out strategies to get the most out of my golf game. Standing on the 10th, I pulled Driver on a mid range par 4 after watching my playing competitors hit long irons left and right. I stepped up and hook a drive a little, it proceed to hit a lone tree up the right side, and go down into a sidehill covered in knee high grass.

I knew in that moment my ball was gone and my chances were over. I played the next 4 holes that day not really caring where my golf ball went. I just wanted the round to be over. In those 4 holes, I hit 4 balls out of play. It was a very unprofessional moment. PGA professionals are suppose to play with etiquette; which simply means try to shoot your lowest score possible, not interfere with others competitors rounds, and protect the field when considering rulings. I’m not proud of this day. But it is apart of my golfing career. I was proud of the fact that I didn’t swear after any shot during that round. I like to think of it as my mantra that I have - say Fore not F@*# - but honestly it was more from disbelief of what happening.

I wish I could say that there was a positive ending to this story. But this is a story of failure. That day I failed to qualify for the Wisconsin State Open. Failure is not always a bad outcome if you can learn from your mistakes. When I shot under par a year prior, I was practicing my wedges at the Palm Desert Soccer Park almost every other morning for at least an hour before work. I was also in a two year stretch where if I had detailed stats, it would have shown that I was putting better than an average PGA Tour player. Those two factors along with knowing the course brought me to a little success. Leading into my qualifier, I had probably practiced less 10 times in the prior 3 months though I had been playing a ton of golf and had been routinely shooting scores in the mid 70s. Though this was on a golf course that was vastly different from the qualifier course. My home course was longer, though wider and very firm; I play very well on these types of courses.

I don’t know when I will play my next tournament, though I will prepare more effectively and make sure I have a good understanding of the golf course before playing. I’m very much the person that doesn’t give up on a dream. It took me 7 tries to pass my PAT. I was a member of the PAT Tour for a couple of years and its the last tour you want to be on. I had a few people tell me that I would never pass and to just give up. I don’t mind proving a few people wrong.

Tournament Golf is as much a physical task, as a mental one. To be successful you have to be able to make great decisions and then execute on those decisions. I believe that I have the knowledge to succeed, I just have to present my skills to the best of my ability. The more I put myself in a competitive environment, the better chance I have. Though saying you can be successful is sometimes just as difficult as performing the task.

to be continued